Sunday, August 15, 2010

hole in my heart

There’s a hole in my heart. Okay, yes, both literally and figuratively. However these holes are very unrelated. Physically, my heart is flawed. I have an ASD, or Atrial Septal Defect. Basically it is a congenital heart defect where the wall that separates the upper chambers of the heart doesn’t close all the way. A hole. I already have POTS which makes my heart beat abnormally fast anyways, but other then that I really have no other symptoms. I meet with my cardiologist kinda frequently in order to check the flow and the strength of the heart wall, as well as checking for clots that might travel through the little hole.
Figuratively, I have a HUGE hole. I know it may seem dramatic, I know, but my dog died on Tuesday. It is so strange, everything reminds me of him. Being an only child, he was the closest thing I had to a sibling. He had been around through elementary school, middle school, high school, and almost all of college. He had been around through all of the hard times in the family and all the illnesses. It’s strange to not have to close the bathroom door when I leave. It’s weird to not have a big, brown lump at the bottom of my bed when I’m sick. I miss my Bailey. I think it’s a combination of missing my dog and the fact that all of my friends have gone back to school, leaving me home and very very lonely. I’ve picked up a good book and think I’m going to spend time drawing, reading, and sleeping. Haha. I hope you all are doing well. I plan on getting better about more useful blogging, rather then just whining and moaning.


No comments:

Post a Comment